192`you put me in such a vulnerable position

why did i see you. why did you take my breathe my heart and my soul away. why did you keep me filled to the brim with butterflies every single time i see you. but why did i feel so so so low why did you appear at all. why did you, tell me why did you.
cause you're about the only one who could get so close.

bugger. and i was really damn fearful for you just now. dumbass, did you have to go be pai gia hero and quarrel with those idiots right outside thr and then? and when the security and that shitfaced self-claimed police officer come out why the hell did you not go? bugger bugger bugger bugger. urgh! idiot cow you really are. and i swear, if you were to be caught right there in front of me i can scream. shit you. dumb, bugger. im effing peeved, yes at you. outright dumb. whats more its not the first time.
why the hell did you go create trouble. right when you're well aware im looking right at you. shit. okay i know you want to prove a point, but thing is i dont need you doing anything im already fallen. hell, dont pull such stances on me. it doesnt impress me! and i most certainly dont need you as my annihiliation you know. oh great you just ruined my mood by so drastically large levels.

i saw a different side of you today. but the funny thing is, i still love you all the same.

but im real tired of all these- having to worry for my boyfriends for those kinda things whatsoever. its really like a vicious cycle that is deeply rooted. i got tired of constantly being on the alert. i aint got so much cells to spend worrying you know. like you're not the only thing i have to keep worrying about anyway. im better off alone like this pls.
ya right, you will have somebody looking after your back. but im more afraid of your front. freak freak freak freak freak freak. can i like slap you awake? DUMB COW. how long before do you render the enemy will be able to take a stab at you on your back PLUS your front?!
damn, i was so over the top when i saw you. but i got over so under the fear when the secu and that cop came out. dumb guy. really dumb. that was like such an unwise inbrilliant move on your part. frigging effing pls wake up your idea, i dont want an image of you being cuffed to be etched in my mind you know.
and through eternity until doomsday arrives, you'll still be the one that i need for all time.