* Tuesday, September 19
144`that much i have to say
so i didnt go out today. cause i procrastinated like crazy. heh=} read my novel plus vcd-ing. seriously i just dont like heaving my butt out of the house, into places whr they are Crowds. cause ive never had a thing for crowds. they scare me more than stick with me. and for that, im a person (okay, read: FEMALE) who needs a frigging lot of space than anyone would ever need. i dont like being around ppl that much. i need my personal space; my own life. one good solitary life may i put it. yarr, perhaps i do have Autism or plain Anti-Social-- deem it fit your way. but either one, it says that having to be around herds of ppl taxes the hell out of me. and im contented just being by myself, doing whatever i please. when i'd whip up some heavenly dishes and/or whatnots. and roam along the streets during wandering hours, soaking up the pleasure. now thats some fine-art living. =))
living the life of an independent girl/lady/woman suits me just fine.
hoho, so my future house. i bet my fortune on the whole of it. i WANT it to be in some seluded place; cold all year round, with rain&snow. because cooler temps work for me. (that so, i have a love-hate relationship with heat. lol) plus with all nature in awe abundance for me. and i want an indoor swimming pool just the front of my porch, so whenever i itch to swim i can jolly well jump into it with no worries whatsoever. then, comes a fitness room. whr i have all the equipment to workout. =) cause i seriously dont fancy having to go out to do exercises in gyms or pools with just any bunch of i-dont-know-who-the-hell-they-are ppl. then obviously i will decorate the whole house the way i want. if i can get a portion of my roof overlooking the sky, by which i can get to see my stars at night and the rain splatter on the roof. that will be more than just a GREAT. hmm, what else? oh, and im sure as hell be living Alone! dont disturb my peace. i cant stand to be around ppl for most of the time. (okay, strangers, and some family. lmao!) but hey, i can organize get-together sessions in my home, then we'll be partying ourselves silly-high. thats much better than going to clubs and bars really. well, in my opinion anyway. a haa!
not that i cant do living with ppl, but not so much all the time though. and i dont want all those baggages to keep me falling deep dark down. doesnt click with my character anyway. and lets just say ive got more than enough things to fend. and i dont need more to weigh my already heavy luggage down by having to worry bout any other person at all.
crazy? perhaps i really am. bottomline is: it takes all i have to keep myself sane cant you say the same? i will really make it well being a recluse so you say huh?much as i'd want to, i cant seem to stop these feelings of emptiness that eat into my soul. and these melancholic emotions checked. now having said that much, i'll just keep my thoughts tucked away and make my hands stop typing.
