* Wednesday, March 1
im feeling so super down.......... its almost like in the past. i dont even have the energy to type on the comp or what. its like the quote:
"When you feel like you've had it up to here & you’re mad enough to scream but your sad enough to cry.- Thats rock bottom.."
thats what im feeling now. i just wanna hide away. whats wrong with me seriously? exams are over, its time to havoc. but yet im feeling like its the one of the worst nights in these recent days. i think really, i am slipping through the creases back to that me in the past.
i dont know.. urghhh. its even like i cant control the tears.. shit! but luckily, i reach for that. hurr.. i sure hope i can survive through the night. at least i'll be save for today..
but no, i ate sooooooooo terribly much just now. like i reach home, then gorged myself.. ate like nothing laas! hais.. thats the problem you see. im NOT even hungry.. its just i have this urgh to keep eating.. cause its really the gawning emptiness inside of me that makes it so terrible. like if i dont fill it up, it hurts so bad. so yaa.. haiz.. ='( machiam like i caught depression or something.. or i just have a plain eating disorder.. so great, cause my life seems to have so many disorders anyway. ho hos..
da4 ge1 just now msn send me a song lyric. taken from the song 'yesterday'. nice.. and oh so true.. -- "yesterday, all my troubles seems so far away... now it looks as though they are here to stay...."
oh well. angela msged me just now. said the person wants to meet us tmr then can straight away get chosen to work or not le4.. piangs, like so fast laa.. sian diao.. =\ im like half- hearted whether to go anot lehx.. =( i actually intended to like pack my room or wadever tmr de4 los.. then sikali tmr maybe got to work le4.. sighs.. but well, i know.. cause this holiday is damned short laa. asshole.. and we work at most is one month los.. =[ but at least better than nothing baas.. i want the money! sighs.. feels a bit weird baas.. like too long didnt work le4.. thats bad.. hahas.. but at least is at factory. something similar to me. so, well.. think i most prob ish going laa.. sort of interview.. anyways, i figured. dont go sure wont get the job. go, is 50/50... yup, so think im going tmr. zhongwei they all going los.. hmms, so i have them for company. wont die rights? hahas.. but i only scared like if tmr really kena chosen to start work immed rights, then mum specially took leave on fri to like acc me go shop. then i like waste her leave lidat.. and like throw her at home alone.. =\ man.. and my shopping trips with eil! grrr.. anyways, see how tmr laa.. haix..
so, stats today. gonna flunk laa. wtheck.. blurddy difficult. lOls.. really have to cross fingers and toes that i'd pass liaos.. lmao!
before that. study with kai, ct and eil they'all. well, study laa. hur hur.. as usual.. talk cock and craping session.. hehx.. know what? we ended up chatting bout what seafood thingy. lOls.. =p all the live prawns and such.. oh my gosh! hahas.. then shikai said he's gonna treat us to pulau ubin seafood... woohoo~ cool! hehx.. surprise in store for him anyways.. :p *wink*
and edwin. whoa, dazzling jacket he wore today. lOls.. colourful BAPE jacket, with a black tshirt inside. and a cap. you know what style means? hahas.
and huiwen. cut her hair. oh ya, i told them bout that day she in msn talk with me the things. lOls.. and that thaithai said she wants to be like me.. omg, can i really FREAK out? come on, i have got like those ppl to freak me out already. i dont need another person to freak me further rights? and a female at that. great. *rolls eyes* and serious, i WILL freak out laa! oh well. up to her la.
i wanna dye my hair. but i cant make up btw purple or red. dull ones of course. hahas.. eil just confirmed im cool toned. whee~ lOls..
alrights, now i can announce: 'i survived through yet another night.'
see, i just cant stand. why guys always need to have a girl? like if they didnt have they will die. shut the fuck up la. go stand aside dont come piss me. idiots.. come to think abt it. its the girls who are more independent and mature. cause we do not ever need a guy around us just for the need of it. like come on? you dont have a gf you wont die right? so get over it already... stupid issue. i hate this topic the most. and its what i get to confirm more each passing day. dumb.
okays, so much for my rants and all. tmr push myself to go with them down for that interview.
