* Wednesday, February 22
i realized. im saddened at night again. ho ho..
i miss my three stars.. miss it a tat too much. for too long a time i didnt see them. although i could still see many stars in the sky, but nothings quite like that. sighs.. it holds something.. one i quite remember. =( ohh, i am melancholic now.. i still miss the wind at teCkwaH; the scenery; the feeling; everything about it there.. gosh, and just now talking to lao ba i found out i have everything still fresh in mind. the last day we worked in feb. well, maybe now the images arent all that clear, but i do rmb. all.. so to speak, my memory's super good at these stufx. wonder why my brain decided it rmbs all the memories- happy and unhappy, for what seems like forever.. i had thought of something this afternoon.. now that i do have a blog, i will still continue to write in my diary. because i will still want to feel everything when im recording it in. and for some warped reasoning, for years after that, i want to take out my diaries and read them chronologically. and enjoy having those scenes played through my mind- good or bad. thats how i am. sighs.. and i haven written for quite a long time in my diary again.. but thing is when im writing the events in, i would certainly rmb. most of it.. good for recordings sake. haa!
now to be frank i missed the old me, much as i welcome the new me. contradictory? yea i guess so. sighs.. just whats up with me huh? someone commented that i had a sad past, and to put it all behind and start over again. haa. he merely looked at my friendster and said that. lOls.. half funny la. hehx.. and as i'd like to deny, i rmb.. every little thing.. of the past i held on to death for the past one year at least. but even as now i've let go of it all, there are still times where the images flash right before my eyes.. and i discover, i didnt forget them afterall. wont want to anyway, as i've said earlier on. and its times like this i miss them soo much. keep the tears in my eyes cause i never do cry.
i just saw an entry on bloop just now. its the theme of the week entry. it said to write 5 statements intended towards 5 different people - things you'd say but never tell them it was about them, or would never say to their face, or something you wish you could have said, but didn't. its cool. i've always had things in my heart i didnt say out, or never would. so, yea.. i'll do it. but not now though.. that, is for laters..
