* Sunday, February 19
i dont know, seriously. just as my title suggests. urgh! what the hell. i felt adamant just now. but now i cooled a bit already.
but still, i mean. come on.. getting to know each other better isnt just chating on the phone, or going out. it just needs time to build up. i never once lost faith in this. almost like my principle, my rule. i typed something like hints or wadever in my msn personal msg. but grrr, i couldnt make it get across! wtheck laa. can i be pissed?
i didnt mean for you to come know me yaa.. say the truth, i had thought you were quite nice too. but guess not. my fault anyway. i have the tendency to not trust anyone when i first know them. and its none of your biz. get real already.
aww, im whining and ranting so much.
okays, now. what? anyhows, i still think im not in the wrong to not have chat on the phone with you. duh. even with my own friends i also held onto this policy so who are you to change it? lOls. okays, im defending myself certainly. kekes.. of course, only with one or two. but heys, cool down and back off a little i might budge you know. anyone comes headon i'll surely retreat. call me tortoise or whatever, but thats just how the way i am. no buts or anything. i just like to like things take its own course. my lao ba knows best. =) i miss her. =( as she always said, im just like a porcupine. i always have my spikes as protection. well, almost always. haas.
yaa, i give off the impression that im COLD. hehx, i wrote this in my friendster profile didnt i? lOls, warning warning. kekes =p anyway, lewis also said. im much better and friendlier in smses or msn than up front or on the phone. bahh, i dont know what to say at all. what to expect?
let me find someone whom i can be so comfortable being silent with alrights? why is it just so difficult? sighs.. =( actually i got, before. i can be so quiet in front of him, till he pokes at me that is. but thats over anyway. hahas. i suppose guys are ALWAYS impatient than girls. a great diff yaa. *shakes head*
great, just when i've cooled he asks to chat again. growls. take a stab at him! asshole. lOls.. i dont like having ppl rush me into anything at all. once i feel cornered, thr you go, BYE. sheesh, dont they all realize? or i have to tell them balantly? gawd. but i wont laas. i always have so many things kept inside. someone once told me that if i had continued to keep all the things inside me, one day i would suffer from internal injury. hur hur. very comical in a way. sighs.. im resigned to that already. i just dont like to say anything at all. cause i dont speak what i feel. and thats half as bad. my wrong so to speak.
sighs, why are the guys i meet lidat? okay, correction- not that many laas, but still. one come, im scared hell. now how many? not funny laa.
im super horrible at making friends i guess. especially with guys. luckily that refers to aquaintances just only. those in msn or friendster or some webby. idk, take it that im not trusting enough.
this reminds me of him. but problem is, do i miss him still? nahh, im so over him. hahas.. maybe everything really do fade with time. perhaps thats a good thing afterall.
ohh, uh uh.. seems as though this entry is a long reflection. lOls. =p sighs, i rest my case here. gotta study still.
