i want so many things urgh! i freaking need lotsa money.. lOls. i want more jackets, more bags, more clothes, more belts, more dangling chains, more shoes, more...? lOls.. so yea. see.. lmao. i need the money! but im kinda lazy to work liaos.. thats the bad thing about skiving for so long during the school term.. shucks man.. =( thats bad.. but i gonna have to go work. hurrs..

otherwise how am i going to get the money for my shopping trips? hehes..
yeps, ate cereal this afternoon. i just love those cereals! whee~ delicious. :p
i wanna go gym laa! but seems like always my plans are spoilt. humpfh! =[
so, tmr going to study with shikai and chan tong. hoho. study. i hope..

and yarr, im liking my hair now. the length i mean. hohos.. but the colour. i dont like cause my roots are sticking out like some weird clash. LoLs. so yups, gonna buy those diy hairdye kit to dye. but im at a loss on what colour to choose! hahas.. in my last entry i said of dying black rights? but....... sighs.. hw said she wanna dye black too. like hellow? wtheck? do you have to do all the things that i do? lOls.. anyways. yaa

alrights, since i have to reach school early tmr, i have to get my precious beauty sleep now. byes!

ho. i just went through my friendster. and i saw some friends thr.. its like.. wow, young girl acting mature or something.. it stinks seriously.. and no, dont ever be mistaken. im not even anywhere near jealousy laa. hahas.. it really looks as though she pursues this life of clubbing and whatever acting mature shit with her bf of now.. i mean, come on.. life has gotta be more interesting than that! i just dont get it, people act as though clubbing is the only way to portray that they are 'mature'.. hell NO! just get over it already. i've been through there. clubbing drinking and smoking. its just nothing.. spelt N.O.T.H.I.N.G.. read this. whats up with those people.. at a young age putting on so much make-up like it does make them look mature or prettier or like their lives depended on it. and smoking. hello, wake up your idea. holding a ciggie in your hand isnt cool. so fuck off? and you go ask ard, more than half the men do not like their gf to smoke. now will that some warped motivation for you girls to stop smoking? ok, i admit. i do like the smell of cigarettes. but well, thats another story. but the main thing is i think those people can fucking grow up already. and no, dont even try to flaunt your english there.. ho ho. lOls.. :p alrights, im mean. but SO? do i look as if i care? hurr.. and yaa, i dont fancy that frail figure too. i want a perfect figure- not to skinny; not too fat. leaned and toned muscles and stufx. so yea, i dont compare myself to you because you are not even half worth that.. hahas.. to think so quite innocent girl in the past can change to like this now. the human race has never failed to make me open my eyes. literally.. but well, you arent all that innocent to start with. ha ha. *knowing smile* if in any case you think your life is better than mine, well go ahead. i wont bother to correct your otherwise pathetic immature thinking. ho ho.. =) and my friend did the right thing to break with you because he certainly deserved better.. hahas.. cheers~ and till now i still think you are just trying to show off to us- me and him- that you are happier off without my friend. and with your bf now. but if you really think deeper.. since you have been with him, haven your life took a huge turnabout? from guai, to well.. something else.. partying and clubbing every other night. dancing shit, partying fancy, and drinking.. oh so NOT glamourous. not at all girl.. and i haven got the faintest idea why you ever linked me with him at all? haas, im dragged into your rocky relationship as the third party or something? aww, poor me. hahas.. and yea, poor me also, to be called a bitch by you! what the f**k?!?!?! shit you mans. hahas.. but yea, you are not even anywhere near my life.. hohos.. merely a passer-by in my life, not worth remembering? =p

okays, im feeling better already. hahas.. have been meaning to say this long ago. hurr. and i would be saying this same thing if she were in front of me also. just to wake her up. no, im not that nasty to let her dwell further like this. but if she doesnt take it, its her loss. *shrugs* or, maybe its the devil side of me, to want to see her cry when she finally realises all the stupid things she's done over the past year. hohos..

alrights, since ive been so far. talk about tattoos as well. for me, tattoo is an art. i tattoo for the sake of my liking it. not for people to see or say. so shut up. whats up with tattooing? a girl has a tattoo and she's deemed as BAD. come on, what century is it in now? like, so old fashionista laa. lols.. even the guai gias have tattoo okay! so what then? they are bad as well? hurr.. i had my tattoos not for people to look at me differently and think/say: "wow, this girl here has a tattoo! must be of some 'name'." ya right, that was in the past, not now dude.. i have my tattoos because i loved tattoos since like sec1? and am still loving it. but in any case, its nothing of that sort- to let people feel awe. can i even gag? cause i know, most of the people or girls rather. they tattoo because they want people to pay attention to them. then they can walk high.. =\ no no no no no!!!! girls like this throw the face of women totally! they tattoo at their shoulder blades, low on their backs, front chest; and then wear revealing clothes to show off their tattoo.

oh my gosh, this world needs a dressing down.. hahas.. :p and sighs, singaporeans need to grow up already. both the adults AND the kiddos. aint kidding.. i want to go to Hong Kong.. grrrr. this darned society is pissing me a great deal off. lOls

in any case, this blog is mine, this entry is mine, this thinking is mine, and this ranting is mine. so if you dont agree half the things here with me, its okay. cause i dont give a damn whether you do. ho ho. dont call me a bitch. label me a girl with a kick-ass attitude. =)

oh, for those of you who do know me. comment by writing me a testi? hehehes.. "p cause i cant do a comment column here? sadded.. but well. hohos.

so yea.. whats up? i finished reading james patterson book. super boring.. to think its about cops and stufx.. wthell.. hahas.. anyways, started reading sandra brown too. it will be nice.. hoho.. haven started on stats.. oh my god, i certainly fear this one module laa. should be pulling my ass to study later.. and i'd self- bar myself from this comp. too great a temptation already.. lOls.. :p

yea, got onto the net now. like obviously.. haa! anyways, received a testimonial from shikai.. that idiot got the guts to say life's a hell or nightmare with me in his life. humpfh! hahas.. i'll hold him true to that laterssss.... *glints and a sweet innocent smile* =)) okays, later i will return him one. hahas.. =]
still thinking about the surprise in store. hurr.. we will see!

anyway, i have to find a job during the holidays.. but im super lazy laa. urgh.. and how to find a job? damn. im afraid to call leh... =( bad....

oh yaa, i thought of something.. and great, i forgot now. gosh, somebody cure me of my forgetfulness can? lOls..
i rmb wanting to say about i can forgive; but i never do forget.. yupp.. thats one.. the rest, i have forgotten.. hahas.. oh well, later then i'll write, if i ever rmb it again that is. LoLs..

*adds*
erhh, im really contemplating to dye my hair black and close off some earholes you know.. lOls.. then i dont have the hassle of always gonna re-dye my hair when my roots grow. but luckily, my hair is more of brownish black. =) or another way. take shikai's words. dye it a darker colour like say dark red.. then slowly move to black. not a bad one yar? lOls. yup, and my earholes? maybe i should. hurr.. every time ppl ask me how many earholes i have, i still gotta count laa. lOls.. think if i should close off rights, i will close maybe 3? haas! i have wait i gotta count again-- 9. can laa.. hahas.. just have to think whr to close. hahahas.. *wink wink*
okay, i want my lunch. hahas.. i love my mums cooking! lurve her! =))

i never fail to amaze myself. why? cause to think i had the strength to walk on till now.. maybe i should just give myself a little more credit than i do.. hur.. so always remember, one's strength is way greater than what they think it will be. ho ho..
now, im freed. of my past.. by saying freed it doesnt mean i dont feel for whats happened, but im saying at least i dont surround myself in all that shit anymore.. and i dont wallow in my misery so much.. its like, in the past, i've caged far too much. now im outta the cage now.. so im flying around a bit; inside a bigger one? haas.. no matter what, its big improvement already.. =) im no longer dwelling in the past.. ive successfully managed(somehow), to make peace with my past; and live in the present.. but no matter how long otherwise, its all committed in my memories.. yups, thats the way to go!

yea, so here i've made my way through..
have all my to-die-for friends in poly. dBa 1b02. hur hur.. almost one year of so much fun with them. and NO, i certainly cant bear to split class. not ever.. urgh! i dont want to! violent objections to splitting classes at all laa! damn.. *tears* =_(
the usual gang?- freaking tall shikai, lame-o chan tong, style but blur edwin, cutie eileen, slow reaction cihang..
nooo, i cant bear anyone at all. not a fraction. lOls.. with them, its sheer fun, laughter and more laughter! hahas, i think people in other classes sure must be GREEN WITH ENVY that we are able to mix like this. ho ho~ *smurks* =p too bad. haas! and i love them just more by the day! or hour even.. hahas..

anyways, im thinking up. how should we celebrate our gang leader's bdae? hurrs, its during our holiday.. but i dont want to call him specially out on that day. no fun lidat.. how? im planning like wed, after our stats paper.. hohos.. but he isnt that free on weds. grrr.. think! ho ho, anyways, i would have a plan. definitely will! hahas.. brewing a surprise in store! c",)

oh so boring.. i woke up at 2pm today. lOls.. but think i still wanna sleep soon. haa! =)

oooh, i just saw a blog. hehs, so somebody out there has the same idea as me! edmund chen is soooo blurddy shuai!! hehes.. yea, i agree with her too. xiang yun IS super lucky to have this husband. hur hur.. ENVY.. lOls.. and thing is, her blogskin is that of my original one! wthell? hurr, same thinking thr. nice one.. =)
this novel im reading now isnt nice.. but i'll finish it too. soon.. =>
ohh, my mums dish is ready already.. im super hungry! ROAR.. eating time soon! =]

im craving for chocs. urghh.. but i dont have any at home.. lOls.. i want losta fruits too.. but sadded i dont have them also.. what the hell.. hahas..
anyways, i have to write what i wanted to post ydae. else i'd forget. ahahs..

yea, its that im sooooo not hardworking laa.. i realized that it seemed as though everyone were really diligently studying.. yet im the only one with a heck care attitude towards the exams.. so not good. boohoo~ bad =but hell, i've always been lidat for all my life mans. i dont study that hard for any exams or tests for that matter. whats wrong with me? haa, got it. i just detest studying, seriously. hmms, reflection reflection.. since young, i haven put in much extra effort to study or revise or prepare wadever, for the exams. ho ho.. =} i would be potato couch-ing, novel-ing, computer-ing, sleeping, day- dreaming, playing away.. hahas! see.. i am not a diligent student. oh shucks..

but its the last paper already.. why waste effort? haa, making the last coup? i dont know.. lets just see how then.. hurr, but today is just another wasted day. lOls.. :p
alrights, my mums cooking something. then dinner! whee~ =) i got her soup to drink! hehes.

*edit*
i forgot to say again.. hahas. this blogskin soooooo suits me! haa! i changed blogskins. hmms, the quote over here. is like meant for me one laa. haa.. nice.. =)

orhh shit, its so late. im tired and need my beauty sleep! damn..

but i feel like posting something here.. hmms, not exactly all that depressed or saddened now.. maybe i let time past and its faded away. but not as if i dont feel it laa. wadever.. i wanna rewatch My Date With A Vampire3!! i absolutely adore it! wan qi wen and yi tian zhao; aka ma xiao ling and kuang tian you.. hur hur.. can i find love like theirs? [i love cantonese!]sighs.. wont.. ever.. i know, why? cause i dont even open up my heart. much less how could anyone really enter? but STOP. im afraid okay? no way i would open up myself, no no no. i dont wanna get hurt. yea, call my selfish or what else. but i dont want to. and i wont hurt others this way too. in a way.. if i dont accept them, then next time they wont be hurt by me rights? yea, go ahead.. continue with the illusion that im COLD. i said in my profile. so who cares? i DONT. lOls.. im a porcupine! whee~ i have spikes; i poke. hahas.. =}
anyways, mob over.. now we have only one exam to go. then know what? *evilish grins* SHOPPING TIME! grab my eil girlfriend! wahahahahas.. shop crazy. and subway. hahas.. if we ever decide to walk into that tempting shop to sit down and order, eat it that is. =O haa!

oh my gosh, i seriously have the tendency to post long entries even if i just wanted to write something in here. haa! talk about long- winded. lOls.. actually wanted to post survey de4. continuation from the previous one. but hmms, it like so long already. hahas.. see how first!

-ANS-TRUTHFULLY
1. Do you like anyone? yep
2. Do they know it? i guess so..
3. Simple or complicated? complicated within a simple shell
-IN-E-LAST-MONTH-HAV-YOU
4. Had Sex: nahhs
5. Bought something: yup! -beams-
6. Gotten sick?: yea.
7. Been hugged?: urh- huh..
8. Felt stupid?: not quite..
9. Talked to an ex: nope
10. Missed someone: very so often..
11. Failed a test: nope
12. Ate cereal: yar?
13. Danced crazy: danced but not crazy
14. Gotten your hair cut?: i WANT to! humphf
15. Lied: -shrugs-
-UNIQUE
16. Nervous habits?: rambling
17. Are you double jointed? what?!
18. Can you roll your tongue?: yup
20. Can you cross your eyes?: yes
21. Do you make your bed daily?: oOh yaa.
22. Do you think you are unique?: urhh, unique in my own way?
23. can u snap?: yes
24. can u whistle?: nooo
-HAVE-U-EVER
23. Said "I Love you": yup! to lotsa friends
24. Given money to a homeless person?: yea
25. Smoked?: hoho
26. Waited all night for a phone call?: well, yea..
27. Snuck out?: not really
28. Sad and looked at the stars?: forever..
-MANNERS
29. Do you swear?: yaa
30. Do you ever spit?: nahhs
31. You cook your own food?: oOh, cook! i like, but sometimes im lazy to. hurr!
32. You do your own chores?: what if i say im the one doing the chores? grrr
33. You like beef jerky? hur?
34. Do you like coke or pepsi?: coke with salt thank you.
36. You own a dog?: no, im afraid of them. =\
37. Do you spend your money wisely?: not quite so
38. Do you like to swim?: NODS
39. When you get bored do you call a friend?: depends, most prob no though
40. Are you patient?: to certain ppl
-DO-YOU-PREFER
41. flowers or angels?: angels!
42. gray or black?: BLACK
43. Color or black and white photos?: it depends.. certain pics are nice black and white.
44. lust or love?: true love
45. sunrise or sunset?: sunset
46. M&Ms or Skittles? skittles
47. rap or rock?: rock
48. staying up late or waking up early?: staying up late
49. being hot or cold?: cold
50. Winter or Fall?: tough one, but still winter.
51. left handed or right: im a lefty! =p
52. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: 2 besties without a doubt
53. sunshine or rain?: i love rain
54. Sun or moon? moon
55. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: choc
56. vodka or Jack? vodka
57. sms or call?: i would rather sms.. for some reason.. ha ha
-RANDOM
58. Which shoe goes on first? left
59. Ever thrown something at someone? sure I did
60. On the average, how much money do you carry with you? say at least $40?
61. What jewellery do you always wear? that would be my ring. without fail. erh, i dont take off my earrings and ear sticks and nose stud. counted? ha. ha. ha.
-W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R?
62. Pierce your nose or tongue? nose definitely
63. Be serious or be funny? Halfway through both
64. Drink whole or skim milk? whole
65. Die in a fire or drown? erh, suppose i belong to the water..
66. Spend time with your parents or enemies? well, both perhaps?
-True or False
I am a cuddler.: T
I am a morning person.: F
I am a perfectionist.: erhh, quite true..
I am currently in my PJs.: F
I am currently pregnant.: F
I am currently single.: yep, single and loving it! =)
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.: F
I am married.: F
I am addicted to myspace.: F, i dont have one.
I'm shy around the opposite sex.: okay laas
I bite my nails: F
I currently regret something I have done.: F
When I get mad I curse.: T who doesnt? lOls
I don't like anyone.: maybe. lols!
I enjoy country music: T
I enjoy Jazz.: T
I have a cell phone.: T
I have a pet.: F
I have a tendency to fall for the wrong guy/girl.: -shrugs-
I have been to another country.: T
I have been told that I'm smart.: T
I have been told that I have an unusual sense ofhumor.: T, ha ha
I have had a broken bone.: T
I have caller ID on my phone: F
I have changed a lot over the past year.: T
I have had surgery.: F
I have killed another person.: could have? nahh, kidding. hee
I have had my hair cut within the last week.: F, i said i Want to mans.. lOls
I have had the cops called on me.: not quite yet.
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.: F
I have kissed someone of the same gender.: T
I have mood swings.: T
I have rejected someone before.: T
I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.: T
I have watched Sex and the City.: F
I like Shakespeare.: T. his work is cool!
I love to cook.: T
I love Michael Jackson.: im okay with him. his dance is like whoa! and his songs are nice
I love sleeping.: oh, so very TRUE :p
I love to shop.: T, and im craving..
I miss someone right now.: T
I own over 100 cds.: think so?
I own over 100 dvds.: maybe?
I own & use a library card.: T
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.: yepp! pass me my novels.. hahas.
I sleep a lot during the day.: T
I strongly dislike math.: T
I think Britney Spears is pretty.: T but i dont really like her
I will try almost anyting once.: T

see, im bored.. hahas.. so long thr.
*edits*
added more questions in. realized this is some part of one of my surveys at hand. so yep. enjoy? haha

sighs, im so freaking tired.. =( like drained of my energy.. and melancholic again.. urghh... nvm. i welcome it.. or now im so tired to feel really melancholic anyways. donnoe.. just plain tired.. and a little irritated? hehx.. or just like last time laa.. sad and tired.. *nods head*

well. econs paper today. shucks, think i will seriously flunk it laa! gosh, im a goner.. =\ hope not though.. get a least a C+ for overall? hehes.. cross my fingers and toes. lOls

shit mans, im depressed enough.

hmms, so.. met kai and thaithai before exams.. actually was 11am. but i went at 12pm.. lalala~ hahas, and the cafe was too crowded.. so we settled at the study area beneath the cafe thr.. soo many ppl too. at first my first thought was: dead, how am i gonna find them here? hahas.. but luckily they wore such striking colours. lOls.. traffic lights again. haa! chan tong green, shikai yellow. and its the very same shirt.. lOls.. speak of coincidence.. hahas.. =p wahahahahahs.. then we crapped around so much. just see, im at one single page for 2hrs! man.. anyways, i wasnt intending to study.. wanted to read my novel! but end up no time.. lOls.. we just like discussed and rubbished around.. the table next to us was our same lecture grp, think they would be thinking. whoa, this bunch of ppl damn noisy laa.. hahahas.. but who cares right? =) hmm, yea.. saw the guy.. he came to study at thr too.. quite near us. hahas.. donnoe, think he should be in year 2? i rmb bumping into him sometimes.. at the library, foodcourt, blarh.. hahs.. hmms, but didnt see that guy who looks like moi yandao gia ones.. sadded.. he super style laa! piangs, sooo blurddy cool. hurr. i wanna see him! hhahahas.. substitution eye- candy as moi yandao gia no.2.. hahahahas.. i wanna know his name!! =}
well, anyways. yup.. studying and creating noise pollution.. then time flies.. we gonna have to go up.. urhh, the paper super difficult laa! dots.. dead this time.. but yaa.. i did quite fast lehx.. okay, not quite fast.. just that i had 10mins still. and damn, till the last 3mins then i realise i left out one qn laa.. chiong like what.. lOls. but anyway i also dont know.. haas. aiyah, whatever laa.. pass then good already. hur..
then, go home.. mrt again, buzzing with overwhelming energy and noise.. hahas.. saw sengliang.. then at the platform, i saw that guy at the study area.. directly opp me somemore.. wtheck? lOls. then lamed around with zhong wei zhong hon chan tong jasin they'all.. see, i said i cant bear this class.. hahs..

ahh, im tired.. and i wanna read my novel. but this one's so much less interesting than the nora roberts.. no fun. hahs.. gonna borrow somemore.. fri baas.. since im known to be super lazy ones.. hahas..
oh yea, thaithai msged me just now saying he lost half his notes for mob. luckily his another friend lending him.. otherwise i would have to go out tmr.. hur hur..

nothing to eat at home.. aww, i want strawberry yogurt.. somebody buy for me plz? lOls..
gonna have to sleep soon..
but somemore rants to go.. for god's sake, its like the nth guy asking the same questions. does it even matter? fuck laa.. can they like have NO motives to get to know a girl i wonder? stupid dumb asses. im pissed. always those questions.. kick them to the furthest place away from here laa.. dont come waste my time.. assholes.. haas, come to think. if we were to really kick their asses off, i think we would be left with like only 10% of the guys laa.. lmao! but not as though i never give them credit.. but its true.. all take the pretext of making friends, getting to know you.. shoo off mans.. i dont need this kind of shit in my life.. hahas.. fierce? not yet.. lOls.. luckily now my guy friends(those im closer to), are good. as in real good.. hehx.. thaithai, edwin, kai, martin, somemore.. hahas.. yaa.. but the rest, most of them give me a boxing glove, i box them all to dead sea laas.. dont come bother me. lOls.. hahahas.. mean girl. but thats the fact. im no pushover. hurrs. whops, im sounding a little harsh here? but hey, dont agree you can jolly click on the cross button at the top right corner of this page rights? lols.. yea. lalala~ gonna read my novel, and my mags tmr.. then if i feel like it, read up on mob.. so many things to memorize.. my gawd.. hurrs.. but i have the habit of not worrying myself about exams.. so thats for laters..

tata~ so long! zZzz coming.. =)

i realized. im saddened at night again. ho ho..

i miss my three stars.. miss it a tat too much. for too long a time i didnt see them. although i could still see many stars in the sky, but nothings quite like that. sighs.. it holds something.. one i quite remember. =( ohh, i am melancholic now.. i still miss the wind at teCkwaH; the scenery; the feeling; everything about it there.. gosh, and just now talking to lao ba i found out i have everything still fresh in mind. the last day we worked in feb. well, maybe now the images arent all that clear, but i do rmb. all.. so to speak, my memory's super good at these stufx. wonder why my brain decided it rmbs all the memories- happy and unhappy, for what seems like forever.. i had thought of something this afternoon.. now that i do have a blog, i will still continue to write in my diary. because i will still want to feel everything when im recording it in. and for some warped reasoning, for years after that, i want to take out my diaries and read them chronologically. and enjoy having those scenes played through my mind- good or bad. thats how i am. sighs.. and i haven written for quite a long time in my diary again.. but thing is when im writing the events in, i would certainly rmb. most of it.. good for recordings sake. haa!
now to be frank i missed the old me, much as i welcome the new me. contradictory? yea i guess so. sighs.. just whats up with me huh? someone commented that i had a sad past, and to put it all behind and start over again. haa. he merely looked at my friendster and said that. lOls.. half funny la. hehx.. and as i'd like to deny, i rmb.. every little thing.. of the past i held on to death for the past one year at least. but even as now i've let go of it all, there are still times where the images flash right before my eyes.. and i discover, i didnt forget them afterall. wont want to anyway, as i've said earlier on. and its times like this i miss them soo much. keep the tears in my eyes cause i never do cry.

i just saw an entry on bloop just now. its the theme of the week entry. it said to write 5 statements intended towards 5 different people - things you'd say but never tell them it was about them, or would never say to their face, or something you wish you could have said, but didn't. its cool. i've always had things in my heart i didnt say out, or never would. so, yea.. i'll do it. but not now though.. that, is for laters..

i wonder if my being a little more cheerful now would dissipate. and i'll become the melancholic me again. hmms, but come to think of it, i do miss my old self.. because im such a pessimistic person, i like being melancholic. its almost as if it were meant for me. lOls. whr did i get such a warped thinking in my head? hur hur.. anyways, not that im feeling misery now. just thinking a bit here..

that aside. accounting test is OVER! whee~ one paper down, 3 more to come. then i'll shop crazy with eil! =) *yeah* neoprints! wahahahahas.. i wanna buy so many things laa.. bags, skirts, jeans, tops, shoes, belts. haas, anyway, i still think i suit t-shirts best. heh hehx.. but now i have that fetish to wear skirts again. =\ perhaps because im getting FATTER already. by SO much laa. sadded. see, im such a fat pig. =( i need to exercise. someone plz drag me go. lOls... can i ever be slimmed? sighs. lack of discipline laas. sadded. oh, wadever first.
now is exams. but as always, i dont study. hahas. bad ehh? thats the problem. i dont study whatsoever. look at my pacc paper today. (ydae rather). i thought i did quite good, for i do know how to do. but in the end, it seemed as though i had all my answers wrong. so very not good. bahh. be gone with accounts anyway.. =] wait till we get our results. then we'll see. haas. but guess i would still pass the overall. cross my fingers and toes.
wednesday is econs. i sort of skimmed through all of it last week. but just skimming through only. haas. so tmr i will have to read and understand it again. if i ever find the motivation and be able to stay thr and really study that is. and keep my hands OFF this bluddy comp first. hahas.. otherwise its just another wasted session of net surfing time. lmao! but i intend to finish the last few episodes of that canto serial i've been watching. hees. =p

i dont have the exam mood ehh. seems to me like any other normal school day sia. only till we were outside the exam room then i think its exam period. ohh wells, better not to panic. and i so hate it when others are frantically studying revising their stuffs in front of me before the exam. dont give me a panic seizure laas.
just now over at school. had a great time with them. lOls. eil, kai, thaithai. haas, later plus xinzi and ouyang. nice nice. fun playing and chit- chating and studying. lOls.

*i CANT bear this class!*

hmms, anyway im off now. i dont wanna revert to sleeping soo late again.

need my beauty sleep

so tata~

i dont know, seriously. just as my title suggests. urgh! what the hell. i felt adamant just now. but now i cooled a bit already.

but still, i mean. come on.. getting to know each other better isnt just chating on the phone, or going out. it just needs time to build up. i never once lost faith in this. almost like my principle, my rule. i typed something like hints or wadever in my msn personal msg. but grrr, i couldnt make it get across! wtheck laa. can i be pissed?

i didnt mean for you to come know me yaa.. say the truth, i had thought you were quite nice too. but guess not. my fault anyway. i have the tendency to not trust anyone when i first know them. and its none of your biz. get real already.
aww, im whining and ranting so much.

okays, now. what? anyhows, i still think im not in the wrong to not have chat on the phone with you. duh. even with my own friends i also held onto this policy so who are you to change it? lOls. okays, im defending myself certainly. kekes.. of course, only with one or two. but heys, cool down and back off a little i might budge you know. anyone comes headon i'll surely retreat. call me tortoise or whatever, but thats just how the way i am. no buts or anything. i just like to like things take its own course. my lao ba knows best. =) i miss her. =( as she always said, im just like a porcupine. i always have my spikes as protection. well, almost always. haas.
yaa, i give off the impression that im COLD. hehx, i wrote this in my friendster profile didnt i? lOls, warning warning. kekes =p anyway, lewis also said. im much better and friendlier in smses or msn than up front or on the phone. bahh, i dont know what to say at all. what to expect?

let me find someone whom i can be so comfortable being silent with alrights? why is it just so difficult? sighs.. =( actually i got, before. i can be so quiet in front of him, till he pokes at me that is. but thats over anyway. hahas. i suppose guys are ALWAYS impatient than girls. a great diff yaa. *shakes head*

great, just when i've cooled he asks to chat again. growls. take a stab at him! asshole. lOls.. i dont like having ppl rush me into anything at all. once i feel cornered, thr you go, BYE. sheesh, dont they all realize? or i have to tell them balantly? gawd. but i wont laas. i always have so many things kept inside. someone once told me that if i had continued to keep all the things inside me, one day i would suffer from internal injury. hur hur. very comical in a way. sighs.. im resigned to that already. i just dont like to say anything at all. cause i dont speak what i feel. and thats half as bad. my wrong so to speak.

sighs, why are the guys i meet lidat? okay, correction- not that many laas, but still. one come, im scared hell. now how many? not funny laa.

im super horrible at making friends i guess. especially with guys. luckily that refers to aquaintances just only. those in msn or friendster or some webby. idk, take it that im not trusting enough.

this reminds me of him. but problem is, do i miss him still? nahh, im so over him. hahas.. maybe everything really do fade with time. perhaps thats a good thing afterall.

ohh, uh uh.. seems as though this entry is a long reflection. lOls. =p sighs, i rest my case here. gotta study still.

okays, im fine now.. hur hurs.. thanks to my friends! not that they know im down. lOls =p

dBa1b02. im seriously sad that we are splitting classes mans. urghh. sadded. =..( i miss them!

anyways, accounts! i still haven touched my books! wth. im such a great procrastinator. hahas.. talk about shikai being sarcastic to get me hitting the books la. lOls. yea, chan tong. hahas. dont be so sensitive ehh? lOls. and eil! my great girlfriend. shopping times near. hahas, as if. thats like 1 week after? but well, let me study hard seriously. then its PLAY! =) but i gotta work. earn all the money for shopping.. hehehes.

hmms, gonna have to write testimonials for my cohord of friends. hehx, but guess that could either wait till after the exams. bahh.. i need to focus on revising really. somebody pull me and chain me to my desk. which is like, im here la. but at the comp rather than beside at my books. haa! lock my comp up so i wont touch it? yea, maybe someone just should..

okays, im mad now. just typing random things.. hahas.

gonna read my novel i borrowed. hmms, and wells. study. if i ever can. i really wonder how did i survive school? FRIEND'S the word. hahas. =) come SCM everyone, then it will be almost as if the class is congregated again! lalala~

and i really need to get my butt moving. how long have i not exercise a bit already? sharcks, ill be better off dead then. hur.. and to boot, all i did was to eat and eat endless. not good, not at all.

opps, im falling into the trap of posting all these rambless stufx online too. hurr. but hey, my blog name tells it all right? RANTS_fortheday. so what more can you expect? ahh, well, ill have more credit than that. QUOTES! hehes. my love. post some of it some time. cause i do come up with my own too. =}

oh gosh, its past 2. i need to have my beauty sleep. and then wake up tmr to STUDY! *rolls eyes* tata, ciao!

i like this template of mine. its pretty =) yea, plain and simple. nice..

idk, but i have this vague feeling im slipping back to how i used to be. depressed and dark. not for sure, but somehow certain.. rubbish? haas. but anyway, i know better afterall. its just layers and layers of masks i put on when im with company. guess it comes naturally to me. and for some reason i sort of feel safe. cause its soooooooo freaking familiar to me. being melancholic and all. not that i do not enjoy the quite sunny me. but ill fall so quiet when im alone. of course right? i mean, who makes noise when they are alone? ha. ha.

hope i still maintain that smile i have when im with my company. hehx.. dba1b02! i miss that class.. so much.. hahas.. great people there.. oh yar, jiahui was so sweet to have given everyone in the class one choc, and a string of farewell words. =)

exams hovering round the corner. hur hur. NOT great. i haven studied! and i dont have the mood. sighs..

im so resigned mans. what am i thinking? its like the feelings surging through me yet again. am i meant to carry on lidat for years on and on? grrrrr. tell me about that.

so many words to tell, lacking of the strength to say. damn. if only i could be more open? hahahahahas.

baa, i think i would flood my blog today with how many posts? hahahas. thats the way laas, updating every so often with fresh ideas and thoughts in mind. and its b/c of this, that i find blogs convenient. haa! say lazy to me :p

just feel like i should in fact start my own blog, since i hog onto the comp like every night without fail. lOls..
and im no longer THAT interested to write in my diary. too lazy perhaps.. just as usual.. hahas =p

but cause im toooooo protective of my privacy, i would be revealing sooo much of my stufx.. oh well, lets see how then. hurr

idk.. feeling like a bit low now.. plus exams are on monday! and i haven studied! sharks!

nehh, dont know.. just starting my first boring entry..

so long, bahh